Monday, March 09, 2015

Top Ten List of Good Things About Global Warming (humor).

The New Yorker Magazine reports (Andy Borowitz) that after a study from Yale showed that the term “Climate Change” elicits relatively little concern from the American public, leading scientists are recommending replacing it with new terms like:
  1. You will be burnt to a crisp and die,
  2. Your cities will be ravaged by tsunamis and floods.

Gee Whiz -- What a Gloomy Gus.

Having a mind just as strange as Andy Borowitz or the folks at the Onion -- it took only 3.14159265359 nanoseconds (easy as pie really) to compile some top positives.

For example, sharks (and their human equivalent, lawyers with lots of people to sue for causing this hot mess) are going to love Global Warming.

Top Ten Good Things That Can Happen With Global Warming:

Undersea World of Cousteau Replaces NBC Nightly News.
Always Wanted to go to Antarctica for Spring Break!
Thong Bikinis on Casual Fridays at Work.
Citing EPA Health Benefits of Dry Heat, Hell Moves to Syria.
"Where's Waldo Hiding the Cold Brewskis?" is #1 World Game.
Russia Solves Economic Problems, Introducing Club-Med Siberia.
Carbon Tax on Hot Air Forces Congress to Shut Down.
Dinosaurs Reappear in Galapagos Islands After Million Year Hiatus.
Florida Washes Away Making Presidential Elections Much Easier.
Two Words (even in Nebraska, Alaska, or Sweden): SURF's UP!!!

Some Random Thoughts That Also Pop Into My Head:

The Fussin' and Fightin': In the Blogosphere, when people debate highly technical points (like temperature statistical methods), we are reminded of how Nerds Talk Trash/Smack.

Today's Horoscope for Climate Scientists: Being a Climate Scientist must be pretty stressful -- with everybody suing each other and now Congress inquiring about personal financial records.
A Wicked Problem: Most Climate Scientists agree that there are unknown unknowns (things that we don't even know that we we don't know) with Global Warming. When we get to the Pearly Gates, even Saint Peter might not exactly know what's going on.

When Calvinism "Pre-Destination" comes to the Global Warming Debate.



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